Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O’Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends.
But alas, Patrick developed cancer, and was dying. While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his buddy, Shawn, “O’Brian, come ‘ere. I ‘ave a request for ye.”
Shawn walked to his friend’s bedside and kneels.“Shawny ole boy, we’ve been friends all our lives, and now I’m leaving ‘ere. I ‘ave one last request fir ye to do.”
O’Brian burst into tears, “Anything Patrick, anything ye wish. It’s done.”
“Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. Bottled the year I was born it was. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into me bones and I’ll be able to enjoy it for all eternity.”
O’Brian was overcome by the beauty and in the true Irish spirit of his friend’s request, he asked, “Aye, tis a fine thing you ask of me, and I will pour the whiskey. But, might I strain it through me kidneys first?”
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
A contribution...
This bit of humor was contributed from my friend Katie. That got me thinking...if anyone out there has a good bit of Irish/Catholic/St.Paddy's day humor and you are willing to share, please send it to me at dm-rosenau@q.com and if it makes me laugh I'll post it as the humor for the day!
Here's something most of you will enjoy:
An attractive blonde from Dublin arrived at the casino and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed "YES, YES, I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked,"What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."
MORAL OF THE STORY... Not all Irish are stupid; not all blondes are dumb; but all men are men.
Here's something most of you will enjoy:
An attractive blonde from Dublin arrived at the casino and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed "YES, YES, I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked,"What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."
MORAL OF THE STORY... Not all Irish are stupid; not all blondes are dumb; but all men are men.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
URGENT: Please pray for a friend
Please pray for a little girl named Lynnea and her family. I have posted about Lynnea before, she is the youngest daughter of Tina and Corey Callison who I used to work with at Bar None. Shortly after being home from the hospital after her Halloween birthday, it ws discovered that she had significant heart issues and she has spent most of her infancy in the hospital. She took a turn for the worst tonight and needs your prayers.
Why the Irish should take over the world
Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
“I will give you each one wish, that’s three wishes in total”, says the Genie.
The Scottish guy says, “I am a fisherman, my Dad’s a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity.” So, with a blink of the Genie’s eye FOOM! the oceans were teaming with fish.
The Englishman was amazed, so he said, “I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity.” Again, with a blink of the Genie’s eye POOF! there was a huge wall around England.
The Irishman asks, “I’m very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.” The Genie explains, “well, it’s about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out.”
The Irishman says, “Fill it up with water.”
“I will give you each one wish, that’s three wishes in total”, says the Genie.
The Scottish guy says, “I am a fisherman, my Dad’s a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity.” So, with a blink of the Genie’s eye FOOM! the oceans were teaming with fish.
The Englishman was amazed, so he said, “I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity.” Again, with a blink of the Genie’s eye POOF! there was a huge wall around England.
The Irishman asks, “I’m very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.” The Genie explains, “well, it’s about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out.”
The Irishman says, “Fill it up with water.”
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
I'm Catholic, so I can post this
Paddy was in New York. He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, ‘Okay, pedestrians.’ Then he’d allow the traffic to pass. He’d done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk. After the cop had shouted, ‘Pedestrians!’ for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, ‘Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?’
Sunday, March 1, 2009
A new sport for the Winter Olympics?
Is it summer yet?
Unfortunately the answer is no, and we are all getting a little Cabin Fever at the Rosenau house. Although there are plenty places to go and things to do, we miss being outside in our yard and at the park.
So, we've taken to a new sport. Snow golf.
Yes, that's right. The golf clubs are baaaaack.....although perhaps we ought to find some colored golf balls. Nah, hunting in the snow for the white ball is half the fun.
Giving the word "divet" a whole new meaning...
Unfortunately the answer is no, and we are all getting a little Cabin Fever at the Rosenau house. Although there are plenty places to go and things to do, we miss being outside in our yard and at the park.
Snowpants, winter hat, and a golf club?
So, we've taken to a new sport. Snow golf.
Yes, that's right. The golf clubs are baaaaack.....although perhaps we ought to find some colored golf balls. Nah, hunting in the snow for the white ball is half the fun.
Giving the word "divet" a whole new meaning...
Happy St. Patrick's Day...almost
I have a legitimate right to enjoy St. Patrick's day...even though only by a small percent. My maternal grandfather has some Irish background, so that has always been good enough for me.
Even before I fell in love with Guinness, I enjoyed St. Paddy's day. I remember each St. Patricks day while I was in elementary school I would bring a special treat to share with the class. Although some of the treat changed, each year each child in my grade at Buffalo Lake elementary was guaranteed a shamrock sticker and those Andes mints (which I still adore). I think I even continued that into Middle School, although by then we were switching classrooms so I chose whichever class had the most of my close friends in....
St. Patrick's day is a great holiday and is truly one of my favorites. There is no pressure to buy gifts, no required family get togethers, no pressure to have a "special someone" to share it with, and no leftover bags of candy in the house (unless you want it there). Plus, did I mention the Guinness?
Anyway, to celebrate this most wonderful of holidays, I hope to regularly post a little Irish humor to brighten each day.
Enjoy:
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.He says, ‘Sir, have you been drinking?’‘Just water,’ says the priest.The trooper says, ‘Then why do I smell wine?’ The priest looks at the bottle and says, ‘Good Lord! He’s done it again!’
Even before I fell in love with Guinness, I enjoyed St. Paddy's day. I remember each St. Patricks day while I was in elementary school I would bring a special treat to share with the class. Although some of the treat changed, each year each child in my grade at Buffalo Lake elementary was guaranteed a shamrock sticker and those Andes mints (which I still adore). I think I even continued that into Middle School, although by then we were switching classrooms so I chose whichever class had the most of my close friends in....
St. Patrick's day is a great holiday and is truly one of my favorites. There is no pressure to buy gifts, no required family get togethers, no pressure to have a "special someone" to share it with, and no leftover bags of candy in the house (unless you want it there). Plus, did I mention the Guinness?
Anyway, to celebrate this most wonderful of holidays, I hope to regularly post a little Irish humor to brighten each day.
Enjoy:
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.He says, ‘Sir, have you been drinking?’‘Just water,’ says the priest.The trooper says, ‘Then why do I smell wine?’ The priest looks at the bottle and says, ‘Good Lord! He’s done it again!’
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